Inspiration or affliction?

I think the process of creativity and the notion of inspiration is, by nature, a very lonely affair. It’s wonderful, exhilarating and amazing…but my inspiration and creativity is something that can only be really understood or experienced by my brain.

When it hits me, whether or not it’s been building and gaining traction over time or like a bolt of lightning out of the blue…it’s the most wonderful feeling. It’s all consuming. I want to tell everyone so they can see what I see or experience what I’ve just experienced or to share the vision of the final product already constructed in my brain. It never works like that.

Reality is not that simple. I try to explain - and it all gets jumbled up on the way out. All the ideas try to flow out of my brain at once…and generally, they make no sense to anyone but me. It’s like having your throat paralyzed while all these thoughts and emotions swirling around…but you aren’t able to talk. There are only wild eyes and hand gestures. And then a lonely feeling knowing that you are the only one who understands it.

Wonderful, even in it’s loneliness - and something that I wouldn’t trade ever. But, lonely none the less.